


Heart To Heart

by Suzie_Shooter



Series: Musketeers Series 3 Episode-Specific Fics [5]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Conversations, Emotional Hurt, Episode Related, Episode: s03e06 Death of a Hero, Established Relationship, M/M, Reflection, implied Athos/Sylvie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7451260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzie_Shooter/pseuds/Suzie_Shooter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short coda for S3 episode 6, Death Of A Hero. Athos and Porthos reflect on recent events, and discover they have come to different conclusions about their future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart To Heart

Porthos was sitting alone in the deserted mess room, bloodstained shirt draped over the chair in front of him and trying awkwardly to clean the many scrapes and abrasions he'd sustained in the explosion.

He was feeling battered in more ways than one. D'Artagnan's speech had given him the determination to survive, but now the excitement was over the words kept coming back to him as a sour reminder of all the things he didn't have. Even love, which for a few precious years he'd cherished, seemed to be slipping away from him. 

It had been many a long night since Athos had last shared his bed, and Porthos hadn't seen him since he'd stormed out of the meeting earlier. He assumed Athos had gone to hide in Sylvie's arms, and tried not to feel bitter.

Lost in miserable reflection, he didn't hear the soft opening and closing of the door behind him, imagined himself alone right up to the point a hand took the sponge gently from his fingers and dipped it into the bowl of water, starting to clean those scrapes he couldn't reach.

For a second Porthos froze, then relaxed again with a shuddering sigh. There was only one person in the world who would presume to touch him like this, without so much as a word.

"Thought you'd be with Sylvie," he said gruffly, without looking round.

The motion of Athos' hands didn't falter, but it was a moment before he spoke.

"It's over between us." 

Porthos turned at that, and stared at him. "Again?" he said cynically, but Athos just nodded.

"I can't be all things to all people. It was because I was off dallying with her that you were nearly killed. I nearly lost you today Porthos. For a moment - I thought I had. It brought home to me what I would be losing. What I am losing, every day I spend apart from you."

"What happened today wasn't your fault," Porthos protested. "Nor hers, neither. You saved us, Athos. You dug us out, we'd be rotting down there if it weren't for you." Porthos lifted his hand, lightly touched the dark scab of blood over Athos' eye. "We've all been in the wars today. Doesn't mean we should forget what we're fighting for."

"Maybe I've been reminded," Athos said quietly. "I love you Porthos. And I promised that would never change, and you've let me get away with sorely neglecting you."

"Oh, my fault now is it?" Porthos complained, but there was no heat to his words, and Athos sat down next to him.

"No. It's my fault. I have been honest and fair to no one, and look where it's got me."

Porthos looked at him levelly. "Well - maybe it's my turn to be honest," he sighed. "You're not the only one to have been doing some thinking today Athos. And I've realised something."

"Go on." Athos looked apprehensive.

"What I want - what I want above all else - is to one day be a father," Porthos admitted. "And I don't know, maybe the opportunity'll never arise. But if it does - " he hesitated, gave Athos a sideways look, laden with guilt. "I'm going to take it."

Athos nodded quietly. "The one thing I can never give you," he conceded with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have always allowed me to choose according to my heart, how could I do any less?"

"Might never happen anyway," Porthos said gloomily. "If things do come to civil war we'll probably all be for the chop."

"One thing I've always admired about you, is your positive thinking," Athos smiled, resting against Porthos' shoulder. Porthos laughed tiredly, and put an arm round him.

"I suppose what I'm saying is - don't throw away what you could have with Sylvie," Porthos murmured. "Not on my account."

Athos leaned into him, and gave a quiet sigh. "It's not just you, I admit. I can't afford for my concentration, or my loyalties to be split like this. Not now."

"And afterwards? Assuming we're all still alive?"

"Who knows." Athos stared at his hands, picking at a line of dried blood. "So where does this leave us?" he ventured after they'd sat in silence for a while.

"Same place as we'll always be," Porthos promised him seriously, taking Athos' hand in his. "Shoulder to shoulder. Hand in hand." He looked at him, and smiled as Athos leaned in for a kiss. "Heart to heart." 

\--


End file.
